I mentioned a few weeks ago my interest in dates. Well, today is another date for me to remember, for it is our 48th wedding anniversary and quite a lot has happened in the intervening years since July 1965. Three children and eight grandchildren for starters…. Not to mention a clutch of popes.

So much has been heard and written in recent months on the question and nature of marriage. The debate has led to polarised positions and strong disagreements in many countries, but that is the nature of things when long-held views are challenged and new pathways opened up.

The joys and difficulties of a married life are there for all to see, and no two marriages are the same. The marriage feast at Cana was the scene of the first recorded miracle of the Lord reflecting maybe the miracle of marriage itself. Something intangible happens with the passing years as an understanding and appreciation of each other is reached and memories are the record of a hazardous journey undertaken together.

It is hard in a rapidly changing world, with our ever increasing knowledge and understanding of the substance of personal relationships, to talk of marriage in simple terms. That it has been, and is, a clear and bold commitment of a man and woman to live together in loving company for life is not in question. It is indeed a good and wholesome state that, for all its difficulties, is valued by many.

So it should be. It provides a precious, if at times fragile, framework for the children born from the love of two people. With the many pressures on our lives, marriage has not escaped the questioning of a changing world. We need not be judgemental whilst we personally adhere to a Christian view of a sacrament that is not a one-off morning in a dressed-up church but is a continual life experience, ever changing and adapting, both joyous and sorrowful, exciting and dull. The relationship between two people is not formed overnight but flowers in the changing seasons. The final fruit is an indefinable oneness, born of age.
“Thou hast nor youth nor age,
But, as it were, an after-dinner's sleep,
Dreaming on both.” Measure for Measure

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