Courtesy
is often found wanting in the many exchanges we make in the market place of our
society, be it in politics, sport, the media or the general to and fro that
arises when we attempt to live in community.
We have a phrase that “I won’t say behind your back what I wouldn’t
say to your face”, in other words I will be honest with you. Much of the
insult and bad attitude that is expressed in the public domain often verges on
the edge of libel or slander, but not quite. In any case it leaves a nasty taste
in the mouth.
In recent years the opportunity for sharp-edged comment has been extended
by the rapid growth of the Net and the huge expansion of websites supporting
particular points of view. Fine. Such growth has made available a vast amount of
information to anyone interested, wherever they may be on planet Earth. The
global village is with us.
But
then consider the manners of contributing a website blog. The principle should
be that of exchanging ideas and points of view, initiating a dialogue of debate.
Yet so often we find language being used that is critical of the blog poster
rather than a concentration on arguing a case. Some of course avoid personal
criticism by the use of a pseudonym. But that is a poor response to discussion.
It can hide who you are behind the invective of your words. If you have
something to say, say it in well-chosen language, vigorous yet polite and in so
doing acknowledge the opinion expressed as your own. It is too easy to be rude
and duck the returns. There have been times when I have been on the receiving
end of abusive comment through postings on the Net. It will never prevent me
from putting my name to an honestly held point of view.
It is sad that even on sites purporting to be Christian that we also find
invective that is hurtful and malicious. In recent months comments have surfaced
that have been antagonistic to Francis, critical both of his words and his
person. The tone has been uncharitable, the mind-set that gives rise to such a
distasteful expression of views hard to justify in this supposed Year of Mercy,
or indeed at any other time.
We happen to be entering the 600th anniversary of the death of
the medieval English mystic, Julian of Norwich, a woman of the 14th
Century whose thought and attitude was way ahead of her time. Her birth in 1342
is documented although there is an element of doubt about the year of her death.
The general consensus is that she died around 1416. In
her writings she often uses the word ‘courteous’ as in “Then
our courteous Lord showed himself to the soul cheerfully with glad countenance,
with a friendly welcome”. That
single word says so much about the relationship between God and humanity, a
relationship of respect, of concern and of love.
In spite of misgivings and difficulties of her times, and there were
problems in abundance, not the least being the presence of plague in England
which cost a huge loss of life she has the confidence to write a phrase that has
become a key remembrance of her writing “And all shall be well. And all
shall be well. And all manner of things shall be exceeding well”.
We know so little about her personal life, whether, for example, she was a
nun or a laywoman. Even her name may well have been adopted from the church of
St Julian in Norwich where it is believed her anchorite cell was situated. Yet
through her writing, the texts left to us reveal the aspirations of a woman of
faith and confidence in God. “All shall be well”.
This year we will celebrate the 80th birthday of Pope Frances
who travelled a long way from his homeland to occupy the See of Peter. He has
shown us by his gentleness and compassion, his humility and care for the poor a
fine example of “the courteous Lord”.
The Church deserves in our response a similar courtesy, not only to
Frances, but also between each other when we consider, debate and teach the
values and principles of faith.
Maybe we should reflect on the ethos of Rugby football, when after a
hard-fought game, played within a framework of the rule book, the players shake
hands and acknowledge each other’s sportsmanship. Courtesy goes beyond words
and writing, it is about the very substance of relationships one with another.
END
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