Chris McDonnell, UK
christymac733@gmail.com

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July 17, 2019

My Courteous Lord

The medieval English mystic, Julian of Norwich, wrote the earliest surviving book in the English language to come from the hand of a woman. It is known by the title ‘Revelations of Divine love’. Of the many quotations from her work, I am always struck by the three words that head this piece when she refers to God as ‘My courteous Lord’ There is courteousness in the relationships between us that reflects the care of the home, warmth and security.

It is worthwhile reflecting awhile on ‘courtesy’, or its absence, in our present days. It is an important matter that is portrayed in many small and simple ways.

In busy traffic, when parked cars obstruct the road, we often have to wait for traffic coming the other way to pass through. Then our patience is rewarded by a raised hand in acknowledgement that a problem has been solved through the courtesy of two strangers who happened to meet on the road. They may never meet up again, but they have done each other a favour. Give a trucker space to change lanes on a motorway and it is likely that his flicking the emergency hazard lights offers a silent thank-you.

The courtesy of casual conversation is often lost in the city but not in smaller towns and villages. Passing a stranger, out walking a dog, offering a smile and a good morning greeting takes little time but is valued. We are not good at it, whether out of shyness or reserve, but such an exchange helps to give a lift on the way.

Who welcomes you when you arrive for the celebration of Mass on a Sunday morning or do you walk in to church without anyone speaking to you? That is one positive action that the Chair or members of the Parish Council could undertake - where there is a Council that is. We are not a disparate gathering of individuals who happen to be passing by but a family coming together to share the Eucharist one with another.

One of the most important tasks that I undertook as headteacher of our school was to make a mug of tea about twenty to nine and then go out to the playground to talk with groups of parents who had brought young children to school. That way we got to know each other without the formality of an appointment. Often it gave the opportunity for a parent to ask for a quiet word about something and without any fuss we could go into school and talk.

There is courtesy in being available when others need you.

There has been much discussion regarding the border issue between the United States and Mexico, many harrowing scenes of suffering and divided families, their dignity as fellow human beings pushed aside. Both there on the Southern border and elsewhere when refugees seek a place of safety, it is not sufficient to build barriers and offer threats. The courtesy of Christ is called for ‘in so much as you do it for others you do it for me’.

When  we frequently visit somewhere local we get to know people and know them by name. I often use a coffee house near home, fronting the canal, for a morning coffee and toast, time to read and write. There I am greeted by name and return the compliment. There I value the courtesy that we show each other. The ‘local’ – its very name says so much -  is the same where bar staff are known by name and friends gather for a sociable evening.

Others do us service, the postie and the refuge collectors. It doesn’t hurt to say ‘hello’ and wish them a good day.

Francis continual asks us to dialogue, to exchange views and opinions with each other for the good of the Christian message. It is important that we do so, on every level. Speaking is one thing, really listening is another. If all speak together, no-one hears anything, ideas are lost in the cacophony of sound. If you are thinking of your response to another person’s story, ready to jump in as soon as they have finished, you will miss the meaning. Our courtesy in listening is often as much as is required for often while others tell their story they realise their own solution.

That courtesy extends beyond our own personal comfort zone, to those who are in so many ways different whether through colour, gender, race or religion. Only by the experience of sharing community will we come to understand the common problems that we face. Solving the big issues facing our planet begins with our attempts to meet the challenge of everyday incidentals, one step at a time, remembering Julian’s relationship with God, our courteous Lord.

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