May 18, 2012                                        Des O’Donnell             desomi@eircom.net            Previous articles by Des

              Desmond O’Donnell is an Oblate priest and a registered psychologist in Dublin        

Confused Tax Man 

Client: Did you ever meet a confused tax collector ? Well, that’s me.

Counsellor:      Could you try to name some of your feelings, if you can.

Client:  Well, the guilt is still there because of past greed. Loneliness because I have no real friends, constant fear lest I am knifed by a Zealot, and now I feel very happy because of what happened in me. Or is it to me. Yes, by Jove, to me.

Counsellor:      That is quite a lot of feelings to handle at the same time.  Could we look at them one by one if that is possible ?

Client: I’ll try.  The Romans rent out the tax collecting business and they give us protection while we are at the toll booths. We pay the rent and after that we can keep whatever we can squeeze out of the people.

Counsellor: Tell me about your parents ?

Client:  My parents taught me to be realistic and enterprising.  So I knew that being a tax agent is a good job and I was so good at it that they made me the chief in this region. I get a slice from each man under me.

Counsellor:      I think I can guess why you feel unwanted and lonely.

Client: I have a lot of people I call friends among the other tax collectors. We stick together and we meet often to celebrate. Wine, women and song, you understand. And I never go to the synagogue.  No, I go once a year to our temple for the Pasch with the crowd. So culturally, socially and religiously I’m at the edge, unwanted, even hated. Of course we have the tax agents’ club but its not one of real friendship, just a place where we assuage our individual loneliness. ‘Wine makes your heart rejoice’ as the Psalm says. And we pay the girls well.  It covered a lot of loneliness.

Counsellor:      You mentioned that you were getting happier, even if the residue of some negative emotions remains.

Client:  It was very warm day, as only Jericho can be warm. Word got around that the nomadic miracle-worker Jesus from Nazareth was approaching the town. Nearly half the people went out to get a look at him. I was curious too especially because I heard that my colleague Matthew was among his closest friends.

Counsellor: Matthew ?

Client:  Yes, Matthew is a tax agent, or was one, like myself. When I saw them approaching I felt afraid. Anyway I could not get near him and I dared not go into the crowd lest I get knifed. Someone told me too that one of Jesus’ close friends was Simon the Zealot. So.

Counsellor:      So you went home ?

Client: No, by Jove.  Enterprise is my name. Something inside me told me that I must see this Jesus.  I went back down the road and scrambled up a Sycamore tree.  I positioned myself invisibly but with a view, waiting for the crowd. Something inside me that made me take the risk. 

Counsellor: And the crowd passed by.

Client:  No, and that’s the beginning of my real story. Jesus stopped the crowd and looked up at me.  My heart nearly stopped. By Jove !.  Some of the crowd started shaking their fists up at me. But there was more to come.  Jesus called me by name ‘Zacchaeus, come down’…. (long pause)… He called me by name… (long pause)….By Jove !.

Counsellor: And you came down ?

Client: No. I did not. Many of my enemies – and I have a lot of them – were in that crowd.  Then Jesus called me again. This time he said ‘Hurry down for I must stay at your house today’…. (long pause)… I particularly recall the words ‘I must’. I thought of how I felt ‘I must go to see him’ before I left the toll booth. There was already something inside both of us pushing both of us to meet…….(long pause)

Counsellor: Can you say what it was ?

Client:  It was very deep, very rich. Maybe like I felt at my Bar Mitzvah, but now by Jove, it just took me over. It was first of all the feeling of being accepted by this good man.  He did not name all the things I did wrong or tell me what a traitor and playboy I was. He did not even ask me to straighten out my life.

Counsellor:      So you felt totally accepted after being rejected for so long.

Client:  Yes, with no finger pointing, no conditions and no confessions he chose me, and asked to stay in my house –‘ the house of a sinner’ as the religious people said. A shared meal just for friendship is very significant in our culture. And he sat down with many others tax collectors and some very questionable characters. Naturally I sat near Matthew. Of course we did not bring in the girls this time.  But it was great, great. I welcomed him joyfully and he was happy too.

Counsellor: So being accepted was the beginning of new experience for you.

Client:  Indeed.  I was so happy that I felt free to give half of my possessions to the poor and to fulfill the strictest law about repaying fourfold what I took unjustly. I had never paid much attention to John the Baptiser who told us tax agents ‘Collect no more than the amount prescribed to you’. Now I really confessed my sins joyfully after I got communion of friendship. I felt a new man with new life, a fullness of life.

Counsellor:      So you had a religious experience.

Client:  Maybe. I don’t know. Jesus did not mention religion. He just said that salvation had come to my house. And by Jove, it has. Yes Sir ! ……….But I must give you a laugh before I go. The derivation of my name Zachaeus means ‘the innocent one’, ‘the clean one’.  By Jove !