Today is the feast day of the Angels Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. I’m sure many a person would say that to believe in these angels is folly at best, since to believe in angels, would be seem to be utterly irrational. Well, that might well be true, but, it might be even more irrational, not to believe in angels, especially in the iconic angels of Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. The purpose of this blog is not to elaborate about these particular angels, however, should you want to read more about them, there are, I’m sure, many a web link with that information.

My journey of faith has led me to believe in the abiding presence of these angels of which we celebrate today, that being, Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. Actually, I’m counting on their help for me with Christ, Mary, and the Saints because I have fallen into a reckless abandonment into God.

Indeed, there are persons in my life, who would point to me and call me exactly that, reckless. Why is that you say?

You may or may not be familiar with St. Paul’s words that the "wisdom of the cross" is "folly to the world". In choosing to follow Christ, I like St. Paul, agreed to live a life that appears incomprehensible and foolish to most people. I have been scolded and reprimanded for my various choices and decisions that were rooted in Christ, as my communications with Christ cannot be seen, heard, or understood by others. St. Paul, just as one example, understood this well. There are consequences, serious consequences, for taking up our cross and following Christ.

I draw your attention to the Gospel of Mark, chapter 12, verses 41-44 and including 44. It is interesting that in the story of the woman who puts everything she had into the temple treasury, we do not know what happened to her after this. How did she live? How could she eat? Many would have seen her as foolish. Verse 44 is powerful and it reads: "For all of them have contributed out of their abundance: but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on."

Believe or not, there is a radical calling from Christ that comes to some of us which asks everything of us, so that, Christ may dwell entirely, perfectly within us, to the point, where like St. Paul, we can say, "It is no longer I who live, but, Jesus Christ within me."

That is where I find myself this day, living the reality, that I threw everything into the temple treasury so to speak. This is what happened when I laid the whole of my life down for Christ. The scripture tells us that if we lay down our life for Christ, He will give us a new life in Him. I should qualify this statement, by saying, there is no surrendering of our lives by our human desire or strength, this surrender comes only with the living Christ surrendering within us, making it possible for us then, to surrender wholly and passionately in, through, and with the indwelling Holy Spirit of Christ.

There is nothing particularly heroic or noble on my part. I am forever the disciple in the boat who starts shouting for Jesus to wake up because I’m going to drown when the water starts rising and filling my boat. This is an image from the Gospel story of the disciples in the boat with Jesus that I seem to live over and over again.

When I left Ireland on Friday, September 20 once again, I felt like the water was rising and filling my boat. The Lord sent me my aid. I am in Edmonton and I’m writing this blog from an Edmonton Travel Hostel, provided for me by my sister. My page is blank. I need the Lord to write the next words, the next paragraphs, the next pages, and the next chapters. If you were to ask me from a human point of view, what I needed to do in terms of being a servant of the Gospel, I really could not tell you. It’s like I’m finished. My friend Barbara and I used to speak of what we called, "New Square Ones" and I guess I’m at a new square one.

I have 14 days to discover the new square one. One can only be here for 14 days so as to make room for the next hostel travellers. Naturally, I must be working in cooperation with the Lord to make the steps toward a new future.

Oddly, this Edmonton hostel for travellers is a former convent and house of prayer. It was called the Stillpoint House of Prayer and Ursaline of Jesus Convent. I was here 32 years ago at a vocation retreat. I had come here from Rocky Mountain House for the weekend. I had come here extremely exhausted after plodding through three quarters of my first year of teaching. Needless to say, I was here for a rest, more than a vocation retreat. However, I made a feeble attempt to participate to some degree in the weekend agenda. I was meeting with a Sister Kathleen, and I believe she was from Vancouver. I tried to have a conversation with her in one of the meeting rooms, but, I was just too tired. I was making for the door, when she called to me, and I turned around. She seemed to speak with such authority, when she asked me the following question, "Darlene, do you want to be a leader in the Church?" I replied, "Well, I guess so."

Ironically, I am back at the former Stillpoint House of Prayer which is now a hostel, in a room for this displaced woman, largely because, Christ made me a leader in the Church. Oh no, not a leader that would be hailed as such, but, a leader who has had what we call a "hidden apostolate" following a "hidden agenda" of Mother/Father God, the Glorious Son and the Holy Spirit.

Not all of the work has been hidden, but, the greater issue is that Christ created me to be New Wine in the Church. As I was so severely reminded in Ireland by Father Tom Shanahan, "New Wine cannot be put into old wineskins", so therefore, I am New Wine without a wineskin and I find myself in a hostel in Edmonton looking to discover what if anything is to follow on this journey with Christ.

Pope Francis, I travelled to the periphery and I remain on the periphery. This room that I write this blog looks like it could have been the Carmelite cell of St. John of the Cross or of St. Teresa of Avila.

I look not only therefore to Christ and Mary and the Saints for their continued protection and guidance, but, in returning once again, to my opening blog remarks, I look to those angels of Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael to intervene on my behalf as I seek to discover the new square one.

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